i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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