The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
