i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
