four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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