You're completely useless in the revolution.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
