i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
