Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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