need another drink. this is the easiest way
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He kissed a someone with a penis
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You ruined the universe
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
