Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
