i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
