i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
