I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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