Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
