he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this will be a night to untag.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
