We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
