He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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