I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
