After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
