we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
