Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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