Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
