i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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