shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
