Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
