I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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