...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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