Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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