All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
