I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
