Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
