Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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