you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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