New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
