I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
