He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
