David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
