You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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