If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
