carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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