69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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