mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
