Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
