You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
