Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
