My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
