Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
