Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
