You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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