It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
