Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
