I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
