Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
