ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
