But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
