Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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