they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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