Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
